activator= shorthand for ADD.
hahahahhahahaha.
Here’s some help for those of us who have problems with negative emotions and feelings, especially those who get overwhelmed easily:
The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking- (Or reasons to get over oneself)
1) All or Nothing thinking- You look at things in absolute, black and white categories; shades of gray do not exist.
2) Overgeneralization- You view a negative event as a never ending pattern of defeat.
3) Mental Filter- You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.
4) Discounting the Positives- You insist that the positives do not count.
5) Jumping to conclusions- You jump to conlusions that are not warranted by the facts. Fortune telling and mind-reading are two common forms of jumping to conclusions.
Fortune Telling: You predict that things will turn out badly. Before you give a talk you might get public speaking anxiety because you tell yourself, “My mind will go blank! I’ll make a total fool out of myself!”
Mind Reading: You assume that other people are upset with you or looking down on you.
6) Magnification or Minimization- You blow things way out of proportion (mangification) or shrink them in your mind’s eye (minimization) I have also called this the “binocular trick.”
7) Emotional Reasoning- You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, therefore I must be one” or “I feel hopeless, therefor I must be hopeless,” or “I feel inferior, therefore I must be inferior.”
8) “Should” Statements- You beat up on yourself or the other people with “shoulds”, “shouldn’t's” , “musts”, “oughts,” and “have to’s”
Should statements that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and depression. “I should have left my wife! Now I ‘ve lost her forever and screwed up my whole life!” Or “I shouldn’t be so depressed. i should be better by now.”
Should statements that are directed against the world lead to frustration. “Darn it, the darn bus should be on time when i’m in such a hurry!”
Should statements that are directed against other people lead to anger: “You shoudl’tn feel that way! You’ve got no right to say that.
9) Labeling and mislabeling- Labeling is an extreme form of overgeneralization. You label your entire self based on some flaw or shortcoming. Instead of saying “i made a mistake”, you tell yourself, “i’m a jerk” or “a loser”.
Mislabeling is where you use overly colorful and emotionally loaded words when you think about your problems. If you catch a cold before an athletic competition you might get excessively angry because you tell yourself “unfair” that you got a cold. This thought makes you feel like you have been singled out by God for some undeserved punishment. In contrast, if you tell yourself “unfortunate” that you got a cold at just the wrong time, you will probably feel less frustrated.
10) Personalization and Blame- You blame yourself (personalization) or others (blame) in a judgmental way.
Self-blame is usually associated with feelings such as inadequacy, guilt, shame, and depression.
Other-blame is usually associated with feelings of frustration, resentment, and anger.
www.feelinggood.com/tutorials/full_distortion_list.htm
Ahahah. Audrey and Stella-
I just realized my strengths seem to have a main existence of connecting me with people.
Communication, Harmony, Adaptability, Context, and Activator to drive me to keep at it until it works?
Isn’t that interesting?
That is REALLY interesting. I totally don’t have to feel bad about being a people person. Most people might not understand simply because they have never had that unique combination in their lives? What’s natural to me is super-foreign to others? So interesting.
Aud- what are the books I need to get? The other ones?
Strengths Finder- I don’t expect everyone to bother sorting through all this, as this is even new to me, but if you have a passion for this stuff, please respond with your comments. I’m a little confused by Harmony. I never considered myself much of a harmonizer? Warning: LOOOONG post. Not for the faint of heart!
Your Top 5 Strengths Themes
Communication
Adaptability
Harmony
Activator
Context
COMMUNICATION
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their
thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.
Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
Instinctively, you like to amuse people with your stories. Your stories probably provide people with
pleasant distractions from their daily routines, worries, and obligations. Because of your strengths,
you may be quite comfortable telling stories or describing your experiences. People might look
forward to hearing what you have to say. Driven by your talents, you gravitate to situations where you
will be in the company of others. You are much less inclined to be solitary or a loner. It’s very likely
that you may have a knack for talking to people. Perhaps you have ways to engage them in
discussions. Perhaps you encourage them to share their stories, ideas, or feelings. Sometimes you
want to contribute to the dialogue, too. This partially explains why you look for opportunities to
express yourself as often as possible. Once in a while, you might acknowledge or affirm the
interesting comments of specific individuals. By nature, you sometimes feel confident talking about
topics or activities you have mastered. Building on your natural abilities, you might acquire additional
knowledge or skills. Perhaps you know what to say when the conversation centers on your particular
areas of expertise.
Communication sounds like this:
Sheila K., general manager of a theme park: “Stories are the best way to make my point. Yesterday I
wanted to show my executive committee the impact we can have on our guests, so I shared this story
with them: One of our employees brought her father to the flag-raising ceremony we have for
Veterans Day here at the theme park. He was disabled during World War II, and he now has a rare
form of cancer and has had a lot of surgery. He’s dying. At the start of the ceremony, one of our
employees said to the group, ‘This man is a World War II veteran. Can we give him a hand?’
Everybody cheered, and his daughter started crying. Her dad took off his hat. He never takes off his
hat because of the scars on his head from the war and the cancer surgery, but when the national
anthem started, he took off his hat and bowed his head. His daughter told me later that it was the best
day he’s had in years.”
Tom P., banking executive: “My most recent client thought that the flow of capital toward Internet
stocks was just a passing phase. I tried using a rational argument to change his mind, but he couldn’t
or wouldn’t be convinced. In the end, as I often do when faced with a client in denial, I resorted to
imagery. I told him that he was like a person sitting on a beach with his back to the sea. The Internet
was like a fast-rising tide. No matter how comfortable he felt right now, the tide was rising with each
crashing wave, and very soon, one of those waves would come crashing down over his head and
engulf him. He got the point.”
Margret D., marketing director: “I once read a book about giving speeches that gave two suggestions:
Talk only about things you’re really passionate about, and always use personal examples. I
immediately started doing that, and I found lots of stories because I have kids and grandkids and a
husband. I build my stories around my personal experiences because everyone can relate to them.”
Ideas for Action:
You will always do well in roles that require you to capture people’s attention. Think about a
career in teaching, sales, marketing, ministry, or the media. Your Communication talents are
likely to flourish in these areas.
Start a collection of stories or phrases that resonate with you. For example, cut out
magazine articles that move you, or write down powerful word combinations. Practice telling
these stories or saying these words out loud, by yourself. Listen to yourself actually saying
the words. Refine.
When you are presenting, pay close attention to your audience. Watch their reactions to
each part of your presentation. You will notice that some parts are especially engaging.
Afterwards, take time to identify the moments that particularly caught the audience’s
attention. Draft your next presentation around these highlights.
Practice. Improvisation has a certain appeal, but in general, an audience will respond best to
a presenter who knows where he or she is headed. Counterintuitively, the more prepared
you are, the more natural your improvisations will appear.
Identify your most beneficial sounding boards and audiences — the listeners who seem to
bring out your best communication. Examine these individuals or groups to learn why you
are so good when you speak with them or to them, and look for the same qualities in
potential partners and audiences.
Keep getting smarter about the words you use. They are a critical currency. Spend them
wisely, and monitor their impact. Your Communication talents can be highly effective when your message has substance. Don’t rely on your talents alone; take your communication to the level of strength by
developing your knowledge and expertise in specific areas.
You are gifted in fostering dialogue among peers and colleagues. Use your Communication
talents to summarize the various points in a meeting and to build consensus by helping
others see what they have in common.
If you enjoy writing, consider publishing your work. If you enjoy public speaking, make a
presentation at a professional meeting or convention. In either case, your Communication
talents will serve to assist you in finding just the right way to frame your ideas and state your
purpose. You delight in sharing your thoughts with others, so find the medium that best fits
your voice and message.
Volunteer for opportunities to present. You can become known as someone who helps
people express their thoughts and ambitions in a captivating way.
ADAPTABILITY
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to
be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
Driven by your talents, you perform quite well in situations where shifting priorities and changing
plans are the norm. You have a gift for reacting in the moment rather than delaying action.
Instinctively, you need to have time to rest and unwind. Rushing from one activity or assignment to
another can take a toll on you mentally, physically, or emotionally. So, rather than do the opposite of
what everyone else is doing, you prefer to move in the same direction as they are. Typically you
choose to use the processes they are using. In your opinion, being cooperative is not only sensible
and efficient, but also less exhausting. Chances are good that you allow events to unfold. You have
the good sense to be flexible and accept change as it occurs. This explains why your friends often
describe you as unflappable — that is, not easily excited. Because of your strengths, you allow your
life to unfold naturally. You trust you will find your path as it evolves. You resist being tied to
predetermined plans and standardized systems. You prefer to experience life in the moment. You are
eager to see where it takes you. By nature, you are a free spirit who is seldom thrown off balance by
unexpected events and comments. Instead, you react to things as they occur. You are quite
comfortable letting your future unfold at its own pace.
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Adaptability sounds like this:
Marie T., television producer: “I love live TV because you never know what is going to happen. One
minute, I might be putting together a segment on the best teenage holiday gifts, and the next, I will be
doing the pre-interview for a presidential candidate. I guess I have always been this way. I live in the
moment. If someone asks me, ‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ my answer is always, ‘I don’t know.
Depends what I’m in the mood for.’ I drive my boyfriend crazy because he’ll plan for us to go to the
antique market on Sunday afternoon, and then right at the last minute, I’ll change my mind and say,
‘Nah, let’s go home and read the Sunday papers.’ Annoying, right? Yeah, but on the positive side, it
does mean that I’m up for anything.”
Linda G., project manager: “Where I work, I am the calmest person I know. When someone comes in
and says, ‘We didn’t plan right. We need this turned around by tomorrow,’ my colleagues seem to
tense up and freeze. Somehow that doesn’t happen to me. I like that pressure, that need for instant
response. It makes me feel alive.”
Peter F., corporate trainer: “I think I deal with life better than most people. Last week, I found that my
car window had been smashed and the stereo stolen. I was annoyed, of course, but it didn’t throw me
off my day one bit. I just cleared it, mentally moved on, and went right on with the other things I had to
get done that day.”
Ideas for Action:
Cultivate your reputation as a calm and reassuring person when others become upset by
daily events.
Avoid roles that demand structure and predictability. These roles will quickly frustrate you,
make you feel inadequate, and stifle your independence.
When the pressure is on, help your hesitant friends, colleagues, and clients find ways to
collect themselves and take control of the situation. Explain that adaptability is about more
than simply rolling with the punches; it is about calmly, intelligently, and readily responding
to circumstances.
Don’t let others abuse your inherent flexibility. Though your Adaptability talents serve you
well, don’t compromise your long-term success by bending to every whim, desire, and
demand of others. Use smart guidelines to help you decide when to flex and when to stand
firm.
Seek roles in which success depends on responding to constantly changing circumstances.
Consider career areas such as journalism, live television production, emergency healthcare,
and customer service. In these roles, the best react the fastest and stay levelheaded.
Fine-tune your responsiveness. For example, if your job demands unanticipated travel, learn
how to pack and leave in 30 minutes. If your work pressure comes in unpredictable spurts,
practice the first three moves you will always make when the pressure hits.
Look to others for planning. People who have strong Focus, Strategic, or Belief talents can
help you shape your long-term goals, leaving you to excel at dealing with the day-to-day
variations.
Your Adaptability talents give you an even-keel mindset that lets you ride the ups and downs
without becoming an emotional volcano. Your “don’t cry over spilled milk” approach will help
you quickly recover from setbacks. Recognize this aspect of your nature, and help your
friends and colleagues understand that it is productive flexibility rather than an “I don’t care”
attitude.
Avoid tasks that are too structured and stifle your need for variety. If given a list of tasks to
complete, try to indulge your desire for flexibility by making a game of that list. See if you
can be creative or make the tasks more fun in some way.
Openly use your reassuring demeanor to soothe disgruntled friends or coworkers. Think
about the approach you used, and remember to apply it again when the situation presents
itself.
HARMONY
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy
conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.
Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
By nature, you may have a reputation for being matter-of-fact, objective, or practical in your approach
to certain people or specific situations. When you have doubts about what to do, you might turn to
reliable specialists for direction. Perhaps you avoid preconceived notions. Instead, you may listen to
what others say, then choose the best course of action. You might give most ideas or suggestions
equal consideration. While this process is lengthy, maybe you realize it is time well spent. Chances
are good that you sometimes think like a scientist or a detective. To some extent, you search for
clues, isolate facts, and solve mysteries. Occasionally you use this information to make people aware
of the way things really are. You may be able to help certain individuals put aside their biases,
misconceptions, prejudices, or emotions. Perhaps you can prevent arguments or disagreements from
ruining some relationships. Because of your strengths, you are happy to do exactly what is assigned
to you, as long as you sense you are not being asked to carry more than your fair share of the
workload. Checking those tasks off your list brings you much pleasure, and it helps you get along with
others who notice your close attention to the work required of you. It’s very likely that you occasionally
carve out time to envision what might be accomplished in the coming weeks, months, years, or
decades. People may welcome your ideas when they appear practical or doable. Perhaps you refuse
to force anyone to embrace your initiative exactly as you have outlined it. Maybe you add a few of
their ideas so the plan becomes theirs rather than yours alone. Sometimes your diplomatic approach
prevents misunderstandings or disagreements from arising later in the process. Instinctively, you
might educate yourself about the basic facts surrounding certain types of issues or situations. To
reduce the possibility of conflict, you may consider everyone’s point of view. Perhaps you help some
individuals see where they are in agreement with others. Now and then, you can move specific
individuals toward consensus — that is, a judgment arrived at by most of those concerned.
Harmony sounds like this:
Jane C., Benedictine nun: “I like people. I relate to them easily because I am very strong in
adjustment. I take the shape of the vessel into which I am poured, so I don’t irritate easily.”
Chuck M., teacher: “I don’t like conflict in class, but I have learned to let things run their course
instead of trying to stop it right away. When I first started teaching, if someone said something
negative, I would think, ‘Oh, why did you have to say that?’ and try to get rid of it right away. But now I
simply try to get the opinion of someone else in the class so that perhaps we can have different points
of view on the same topic.”
Tom P., technician: “I can remember vividly when I was ten or eleven and some of the kids in my
school would get into arguments. For some reason, I would feel compelled to get in the middle of
things and find the common ground. I was the peacemaker.”
Ideas for Action:
Use your Harmony talents to build a network of people with differing perspectives. Rely on
these people when you need expertise. Your openness to these differing perspectives will
help you learn.
When two people are arguing, ask others in the group to share their thoughts. By increasing
the number of voices in the conversation, you are more likely to find areas where all parties
can agree. You can draw people together.
Avoid roles that will lead you to confront people on a daily basis. Sales roles based on “cold
calls” or roles in highly competitive workplaces, for example, will frustrate or upset you.
Practice your techniques for resolving conflict without confrontation. Without these polished
techniques, you might find yourself simply running away from conflicts, leaving them
unresolved. This could lead you to passive-aggressive behavior.
Partner with someone especially talented in Command or Activator. When all your best
efforts to resolve a conflict have met with no success, this person can help you confront it
head-on.
Create interactions and forums in which people feel like their opinions are truly being heard.
In doing so, you will help others become more engaged in group projects and activities.
Be aware that your attempts to create harmony by allowing everyone a turn to speak might
actually create disharmony in some people. Individuals with exceptional Achiever talents, for
example, may be anxious to make a decision and take action. Learn to briefly yet effectively
communicate the value of listening.
Understand that some may take advantage of your efforts to produce harmony. On
occasion, when everyone is getting an opportunity to speak, some individuals might waste
time positioning themselves or getting into lofty debates that have little relevance to the task
at hand. At these times, do not hesitate to jump in and turn the conversation around to more
practical matters. A balance between listening and efficiency is key to harmony.
In discussions, look for the practical side of things. Help others see this practical side. It is
the starting point of agreement.
Deference comes naturally for you. You easily step aside when someone with superior
expertise enters. Take the next step by inviting those with greater expertise to consult.
ACTIVATOR
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning
thoughts into action. They are often impatient.
Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
By nature, you reach conclusions by using reason. You evaluate all the facts to pinpoint what is and
is not relevant. The mental rigor you demand of yourself prepares you to launch projects. Driven by
your talents, you periodically issue direct orders to certain individuals. Some may feel you are
overstepping the bounds of your authority or are being a bit bossy. Perhaps this is just your way of
influencing some people to apply their time or energy to the task at hand. It’s very likely that you are
naturally open and honest about who you are, what you have done, what you can do, and what you
cannot do. Your straightforward explanations and stories help listeners see you as you see yourself.
You reveal your strengths and limitations. You are forthright and plainspoken. People generally seek
your company and want to work with you. Many are impelled to move into action by your words and
examples. Instinctively, you may relish talking to others about things that are going well in their lives.
Sometimes you help people enthusiastically express their opinions, thoughts, or viewpoints. To some
extent, your words can energize individuals or groups. Chances are good that you may generate
enough enthusiasm in certain individuals that they become almost as eager as you are to transform
an idea into something tangible. Perhaps you are energized, not paralyzed, by opportunities and
possibilities.
Activator sounds like this:
Jane C., Benedictine nun: “When I was prioress in the 1970s, we were hit by the energy shortage,
and costs skyrocketed. We had a hundred and forty acres, and I walked the acreage every day
6
pondering what we should do about this energy shortage. Suddenly I decided that if we had that
much land, we should be drilling our own gas well, and so we did. We spent one hundred thousand
dollars to drill a gas well. If you have never drilled a gas well, you probably don’t realize what I didn’t
realize: namely, that you have to spend seventy thousand dollars just to drill to see if you have any
gas on your property at all. So they dug down with some kind of vibratory camera thing, and they told
me that I had a gas pool. But they didn’t know how large the pool was, and they didn’t know if there
was enough pressure to bring it up. ‘If you pay another thirty thousand dollars, we will try to release
the well,’ they said. ‘If you don’t want us to, we’ll just cap the well, take your seventy thousand, and go
home.’ So I gave them the final thirty thousand and, fortunately, up it came. That was twenty years
ago, and it is still pumping.”
Jim L., entrepreneur: “Some people see my impatience as not wanting to listen to the traps, the
potential roadblocks. What I keep repeating is, ‘I want to know when I am going to hit the wall, and I
need you to tell me how much it is going to hurt. But if I choose to bump into the wall anyway, then
don’t worry — you’ve done your job. I just had to experience it for myself.’”
Ideas for Action:
Seek work in which you can make your own decisions and act on them. In particular, look
for start-up or turnaround situations.
At work, make sure that your manager judges you on measurable outcomes rather than
your process. Your process is not always pretty.
You can transform innovative ideas into immediate action. Look for creative and original
thinkers, and help them move their ideas from conceptual theory to concrete practice.
Look for areas that are bogged down by discussion or blocked by barriers. End the
stalemate by creating a plan to get things moving and spur others into action.
You learn more from real experience than from theoretical discussions. To grow,
consciously expose yourself to challenging experiences that will test your talents, skills, and
knowledge.
Remember that although your tenacity is powerful, it may intimidate some. Your Activator
talents will be most effective when you have first earned others’ trust and loyalty.
Identify the most influential decision makers in your organization. Make it a point to have
lunch with each of them at least once a quarter to share your ideas. They can support you in
your activation and provide critical resources to make your ideas happen.
You can easily energize the plans and ideas of others. Consider partnering with focused,
futuristic, strategic, or analytical people who will lend their direction and planning to your
activation, thereby creating an opportunity to build consensus and get others behind the
plan. By doing this, you complement each other.
Give the reasons why your requests for action must be granted. Otherwise, others might
dismiss you as impatient and label you a ‘ready, fire, aim’ person.
You possess an ability to create motion and momentum in others. Be strategic and wise in
the use of your Activator talents. When is the best time, where is the best place, and who
are the best people with whom to leverage your valuable influence?
CONTEXT
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Context theme enjoy thinking about the past. They
understand the present by researching its history.
Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
It’s very likely that you like visiting, thinking, and working with people who have a keen appreciation of
past events. Their accurate understanding of historic figures probably piques — that is, arouses –
your interest. By nature, you are excited to discover new facts about historic events and key people.
Your commonly rely on experts who have conducted in-depth research on various periods of history.
Chances are good that you are quite intrigued by history’s significant events and people. Information
about global conflicts fascinates you. Instinctively, you are intrigued by experts who can enlighten you
about past events or historic people. You are particularly interested in history’s contribution to the
current state of affairs. Because of your strengths, you want to spend time with people who
appreciate history and have become experts on various eras. Former teachers and/or mentors who
befriended you probably encouraged your interest in history. As a result of that encouragement, you
realized that you master facts much more easily when the teacher or expert cares about you as a
human being.
Context sounds like this:
Adam Y., software designer: “I tell my people, ‘Let’s avoid vuja de.’ And they say, ‘Isn’t that the wrong
word? Shouldn’t it be déjà vu?’ And I say, ‘No, vuja de means that we’re bound to repeat the mistakes
of our past. We must avoid this. We must look to our past, see what led to our mistakes, and then not
make them again.’ It sounds obvious, but most people don’t look to their past or don’t trust that it was
valid or something. And so for them, it’s vuja de all over again.”
Jesse K., media analyst: “I have very little empathy, so I don’t relate to people through their present
emotional state. Instead, I relate to them through their past. In fact, I can’t even begin to understand
people until I have found out where they grew up, what their parents were like, and what they studied
in college.”
Gregg H., accounting manager: “I recently moved the whole office to a new accounting system, and
the only reason it worked was that I honored their past. When people build an accounting system, it’s
their blood, sweat, and tears; it’s them. They are personally identified with it. So if I come in and
blandly tell them that I’m going to change it, it’s like me saying I am going to take your baby away.
That’s the level of emotion I was dealing with. I had to respect this connection, this history, or they
would have rejected me out of hand.”
Ideas for Action:
Before planning begins on a project, encourage the people involved to study past projects.
Help them appreciate the statement: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned
to repeat it.”
If you are in a role that requires teaching others, build your lessons around case studies.
You will enjoy the search for the appropriate case, and your students will learn from these
precedents. Use your understanding of the past to help others map the future.
At work, help your organization strengthen its culture via folklore. For example, collect
symbols and stories that represent the best of the past, or suggest naming an award after a
person who embodied the historical traditions of your organization.
Partner with someone with strong Futuristic or Strategic talents. This person’s fascination
with what “could be” will stop you from becoming mired in the past, while your deep
understanding of context will stop him or her from ignoring the lessons of the past. Together
you are more likely to create something that lasts.
Accept change. Remember that your Context talents do not require you to “live in the past.”
Instead, you can actually become known as an active agent for positive change. Your
natural sense of context should allow you to identify more clearly than most the aspects of
the past that can be discarded and those that must be retained to build a sustainable future.
Use fact-based comparisons to prior successes to paint a vivid picture for others of “what
can be” in the future. The real-life illustrations you create can build confidence and
emotional engagement.
You recognize that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Probe your friends
and coworkers about actions that might have contributed to their current successes so you
can help them make better choices in the future. This will help them put their decisions into
an overall context.
Read historical novels, non-fiction, or biographies. You will discover many insights that will
help you understand the present. You will think more clearly.
Compare historical antecedents and situations to your current challenge. Identifying
commonalities may lead you to a new perspective or an answer to your problems.
Seek out mentors who have a sense of history. Listening to their memories is likely to spark
your thought process.
******: but its true
Poland will allow us to install our missile shield to protect NATO allies on their soil. Russia’s pissed about it, thinking it has to do with lobbing missiles into Russia, which is ludicrous because the silos are meant to intercept nukes, not send out nukes. In return, Poland will get SAMs. (Surface to Air Missile batteries).
Good guys 1.
Paranoid Russians 0.
Maybe Russia wants Iran and North Korea to have nuclear capability just to keep Western allies off balance. Kinda like when the Russians killed a Russian defector with radioactive poisoning when he fled to England.
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